Not Judging...Just Observing

How low can YOU go?

Guess Where I'm Going Next Month?...

Here's a juicy clue...

image: The Sartorialist

Emily's Fashion Friday's

Emily's rockin' out the cowgirl look this week. I think it suits her, don't you?

Are You Hungry?

I guess the real question would be, "Are you hungry anymore?..."

Untimely Lip Licking

I’m a graphic designer. I stare at the computer screen all day everyday.
So…when my eyes catch any glimpse of movement outside the vicinity of my monitor…I look up…as you would. Under these circumstances, rarely would you make eye contact with the person-in-motion because it happens in a split second and the look is, well, unintentional.

So this is the awkwardness that took place today: (Marlene, I need my blankie)

H-E-L-L-O M-O-T-I-O-N within my ocular range.

I look up…as you would…and simultaneously lick my lips.

Tall man in suit makes eye contact…during the lip lickage.

Split second moment seems more like ten minutes…ten extremely inappropriate minutes.

I swiftly look away...and vow to reapply ChapStick hourly.


Here’s the painful reenactment…

Mystery Man Numero 8: The Super Hot Dutch Boy

A Mystery Man is someone who is admired from a distance.
A woman must keep her mystery man at a distance for fear that the idea of him would be busted if a conversation was actually exchanged. You get to see all of him…thank you Father Jesus…and the rest of him (intelligence, sense of humor, maturity, relationship status, everything that really means anything) is whatever you want it to be.

Sighting:
At the gym in my flats.

Physical Description:
Tall & lean with an amazing jaw…I’m a sucker for man with a nice jaw.
I heard him talking, and I think he’s Dutch. No clogs (boo), just sneakers.
Sometimes he wears cut-off shirts and I pretend that I don’t see him…it’s a fun game. (I hate cut-off shirts)

Eye Contact:
Barely.

Conversation:
I’ve done the head nod...which, in my world, translates as,
“Heeeey there, super hot Dutch boy. Wanna go make out in the sauna?”

Yesterday, I was ballzy and said, “bye.”

MB Man Rating:
9.8+

Assumption:
He rides a bike to work(complete…with a bell) and speaks seven languages.
If we had babies, they’d all be tall and blond…and I’d be OK with that.

Hope Your Weekend Doesn't Stink

See you all on Monday!

Introducing...Queen Anne's Lace on ETSY

All of this fun, travel photography and what to do with it?
Check out my new ETSY shop: Queen Anne's Lace


Here's just a few of the items that you'll find...

How To Look Posh...

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the Bend & Snap of the future.
Thank you random man in London.
p.s. I love you.

Emily's Fashion Friday's

Meet Emily.
She’s the tiny and trendy lass who walks in every morning in her fuzzy fuchsia hat and leopard skin coat.
You know those people that you look forward to seeing everyday…because you know that they will be sporting something awesome? I had a teacher in second grade named Mrs. Marshall who had the greatest shoes ever. That was back when shoulder pads and slap bracelets were in. Now that I’m in the land of skinny jeans and silver studs, I thought it would be a good idea to share some of this British fashion with you, via Emily.

Introducing Emily’s Fashion Friday’s.

¿Dónde Está el Poncho?

Let’s face it…I live in a foreign country and your five-year-old neighbor probably owns more stuff than me.
One thing that I do own, thanks to Marlene and her extraordinary care packages, is a giant poncho…you know…for when it rains and stuff. Ponchos are cool in Mexico and all, but they don’t seem to be the going trend here in the United Kingdom.

After trying to pawn it off to my Scottish friend, Heather (believe it or not, Scottish people aren’t into ponchos either. Kilts, yeah…but ponchos…not so much), she came up with the brilliant idea to take pictures in my poncho and make my readers find me. I thought that sounded like even more fun than speed dating.

So…

¿Dónde Está el Poncho?

There’s a New Yankee in the ‘Hood…

Not only is she fun, sweet, and crazy petite…she’s uber creative to boot!

Meet Ellie…Hallmark UK’s latest transplant from headquarters in KC.
Ellie is a typography artist slash designer who was gutsy enough to pack her life & shoes up in two suitcases (actually, more like six) and move to the land of pork pies and mincemeat…everything.

Things you should know about Ellie:

• She has an identical twin named, Rachel.

• Ellie and I played on the same corporate softball team in Kansas City…The MasterBatters.
She broke her nose that season, bless her.

• She has the most amazing curly hair.

• She’s dated a British man…so, more or less, she knows what she's getting into.

Welcome Ellie!

Damn Girl...

Who cares if your teeth are fugly and you're pushing 80...those calves are AMAZING!

Loving Lovely Clothes...Sometimes Blows

Why is it that when you set your mind on saving money, shopping is all you can think about?
My favorite clothing store in the UK is having an amazing sale...REISS (Go on...I think you'll like it)
Please, buy everything...so that I can't.

Winklepickers

Welcome to England!...Home of the Super Fruity Man Shoe
The ones above aren't actually all that bad..I just liked the 80's checkerboard effect.

Winklepickers (also known as Winkle Pickers) are a style of shoe or boot worn from the 1950’s onward by male and female British rock and roll fans. The feature, which gives both the boot and shoe their name, is the very sharp and quite long pointed toe, reminiscent of medieval footwear and approximately the same as the long pointed toes on some women's fashion shoes and boots today. This pointed toe was called the winkle picker toe because, in England, periwinkle snails are eaten with a pin or pointed object to get the winkle out of the shell (hence the term, that I’m sure all of you have heard, "to winkle something out"). -Wikipedia

Emma & Her Unabashed Look-a-Like

Have I ever talked about the shoddy magazines over here in the UK?
They’re all useless, with the exception of Elle, Vogue, and Harper’s Bazaar. Celebrity gossip is bad enough…what’s even worse is when you get random people off the street sharing stories like this…


Actually, this is my new favorite story…

…only because the lovely girl on the right is my sweet friend, Emma.
How shocking is that resemblance?!
Her mum would be so proud.

Take Me Back to Spain

-20C...so not OK.

Have a great weekend everybody!
Try to stay warm.

2010 New Year's Resolutions

Be open to all possibilities

Train for a run. Not quite ready for another marathon...but maybe a half...?

Travel to Greece

Go easy on the cheese...mmm...cheese

Complain less, smile more...even if it hurts

Be nicer to English boys. I like you...but I want you to love me back.

Find a tiny, charming village in England, travel there...and do something only English people would do, like, play cricket or scream, "PANTS!"

Refrain from singing in public and/or the office. Face it, no matter how hard you practice, you're never going to be good.

Don't go to ASDA on Sundays...you'll be a much happier person because of it.

Farewell to the Ang-meister

Our dear friend, Angie has headed back to Kansas for good. Oh how we will miss her so!

My favorite things about the Ang-meister:
* Her obsession with Anglo-Saxon men and vampires
* Laughs that turn into wheezing...that turn into OMG-can-you-breath moments
* Playing female construction workers, wolf whistling at British men
* American sandwich hugs: Step 1: grab a British person, Step 2: stick him/her in the middle of two Americans, Step 3: group hug!...ps. British people hate this.
* Her thoughtfulness and crazy fun personality

Love you Angie!
-MB

written and designed especially for Angie by Hottie Rob

Way back in 2007,
a plane landed in the UK
A balloon blower on board
with ideas so broad,
And with plenty of gibberish to say.
Obsessed with her ‘Smart Punctuation’
And ‘elements of typographic style’
She reinvented this place
with her charm and her grace
And her massive American smile.

But then she discovered the ‘hand job’
A book, before you all ask!
Full of some great ideas
from her yank typo peers
That would help her to complete her task
The task was to enhance our type skills
and she’s so good we all want to steal her
but her other ambition
was an alcohol mission...
to introduce us all to tequila!

Her favourite drink was tequila,
vodka jelly her favourite food
And when she made a list
of the people she missed
at the top there was Mike and his boob
No, good people, please don’t you worry,
her boyfriend does not have a breast,
It is just his job
“no he hasn’t made a kn*b”
but Angie still says he’s the best!

So what will she miss about England
When the Yank ups and leaves us all here?
Well it won’t be the weather,
‘cos it’s not that clever
And she certainly won’t miss our beer.
But we know she’ll miss our funny accent
The one she’s worked hard to perfect,
Shouting “knob’ead”, and “tosser” and “wanker”
But only, of course, when she’s wrecked!

She’ll leave us fantabulous memories,
of a happy and eccentric gal,
who made us all smile
with her Kansas City style-
someone we all call our pal.
So, Yank, click your red heels together,
And then back to Kansas you’ll fly
You’ll be greeted by Mike
and your good friends alike
But remember we love you - Goodbye!

The People of the Bus Station

image: theelephanttrunk


Some things are the same anywhere you go...such as, The People of the Bus Station.
Go on...visit your local. I guarantee you'll find my list to be highly accurate.

The dressed down transvestite

The pigeon that accidentally walked through the automatic doors.

The chick with really bad extensions

The token Chinese tourists

The old woman with a limp

The 400 lb. man eating Burger King

The family with ten babies...all of whom need a bath.

The backpacker with dreads

The homeless man who won't stop staring at your goods

I'm an Aunt...Again!

Ethan Noah's first photo shoot

chillin'

The proud parents

Breastfeeding...yeah!

Tiny toes

Nothing is cuter than a giant man hand...

In Dallas...We Drink Margaritas...and then, Go Bowling

The holidays are flying by! I arrive back in the jolly ol' on Monday, until then, pictures it is.
Meet some of my close buddies...
Amanda's famous aloof look

Stephanie & Ryan...pretending to be preggers...
Amanda & Mark

Poor Steph...someone's gotta suck more at bowling than Amanda.

Ryan's happy face

Special Bowling Club of America...aka. Gutter Club

Ryan's winning form

mmm...diet coke

Yup...they're huge.

Work it.

Christmas in Texas

Welcome to the World: Sweet Ethan Noah
My big brother, Matt (aka.new daddy) and Ethan

Dad...cool as can be

Sister-in-law, Cristina (aka. new mama) and Ethan

Big brother, Mark

Little Michael

Emma...and her very first time to meet Aunt MB

Grandma & MB

Big sister, Monica & her scrabble-nazi husband, Glen

Michael, Emma, & Mom

Big brother, Mike

Monica...annoyed with all the pictures

Carol Service Steam Train

This is the sort of thing that English people do at Christmas time…ride steam trains and sing weird Christmas carols that no one (outside of England) has ever heard of.

One of my new favorites…Little Donkey.

I never knew that the donkey played such a vital role in the nativity until I moved to England.
In the states, we sort of forget about all of the other animals in the lot and focus on the sheep…because they’re way cuter.

It's official, I'm headed down to London on Tuesday and flying back to the Big D!
Have a wonderful Christmas everybody! Hee Haw.

Bust Out the Christmas Sweaters...Baby Jesus is Here!

Every man loves a woman in holiday wear.
Check out my Dad...pimpin' it with a festive chick on each arm.

Grandma, you look HOT.

Collette & Andrew's Wedding

Just a few pics from the wedding that I shot this past weekend.
What a darling couple. Congrats Collette and Andrew!

Because Everyone Needs a Theme Song...

Thanks to Joe, Matt, and Hottie Rob for making one up for me.
...and thanks to Gillette for the inspiration.

Christmas Party 2009...

...just a lil' snipit from early on in the night.
Keepin' it clean for Grandma & Marlene.

The Editorial Gals...working hard at making this country a more emotional place.

Angie & I...our very last Christmas party in the UK :(

Gill & Olivia...looking very related

The amazing three...even more so in their speedo's...Joe, Matt, & Hottie Rob

Claire, Mari, Ness, & Claire

Ok now, pretend that you want me to have your babies...

Ang & The Martinator

Shake Your Booty

I designed this one in honor of my sister, Monica...and that one time on the dance floor in Weimar, Texas.

Sometimes Hard Work Doesn't Pay Off...

Christmas Shopping in England

ps. jeggings are jean leggings...

Drinks with the Match

Meet Matt.
He's my speed-dating match.

Description for the ladies…because we all like some detailed info:
brown eyes, brown hair, easy-going, 5'9-ish(?), great teeth...which I have to say, is rare in these parts (sorry English people, but you know it's true), comfortable, sweet smile, freckles!, he smells good too...not quite like buffalo leather…but something equally masculine for sure.

Conversation Topics:
English people
Americans
drugs...the legal kind
rugby (my contribution to the two minute conversation..."I like it when they bend over and hug each other.")
speed-dating
Shipley…and the people who live there
Classy female ‘going out’ attire

Ladies and Gentlemen, I would call this a foreign date success.
Way to go Matchy Matt for improving my perception of British blokes.

We're going out again this Thursday...

ps...Matt is aware that is picture is up on the world wide web for creepy men to see. (Hi Matt.)