Grandma Gettin' her Hair Did

Grandma knows she's in Texas when...

Hello Little Visa. Where are you?

Still...in Dallas...waiting on my visa. Just, you know, hanging out, working on my dancing skills and such.
Here's some senior portraits that I shot for a little girl that I used to babysit for...she's not a baby anymore.

I Wanted You to have this Leaf Dear Valentine

...red roses are so unoriginal.

Non-committal...just when it comes to Weight Watchers (and Boys)

It all started one early December. Christmas was coming, cookies everywhere...mom's magic toffee would soon be on its way to my belly...or that's what the fatty inside of me was saying. I decided to give myself an early intervention and attend a Weight Watchers meeting. Twenty-nine bones for a month of dropping pounds...not bad.

I had to 'weigh in' before walking into a church hall full of cute old people. Everyone was receiving his or her shiny star stickers for a week well done. We talk about calories at Thanksgiving dinner, jaws drop...and a round of applause for those who managed to stay strong and lose the weight!

I'm inspired. My week starts off good...towards the end of the week I was eating up all my points before 1pm. Fatty.

Week two meeting rolls around. In front of the whole group the counselor asks me,
"Mary Beth, what did you learn this past week?"
I answer, "That I love to eat"
...It’s true. I'm a Weight Watchers dropout.
I never did go back to any meetings, but I did return home for some of that magic toffee.

Creepy Man Alert

Once upon a time (like, two weeks ago) I went to a party at a friend of a friend's house. It was a college party rerun...beer pong, fire pit, creepy boys and all. There he was...we'll call him 'Billy Butler'...staring at me from across the fire pit. I looked up and our eyes met. It was then that 'Billy Butler' leapt across the roaring flames and introduced himself to me. "Hi, my name is Billy Butler" he says with a burning confidence. During this conversation I learned that 'Billy' had moved from small town Missouri to Daaallas six months ago. He was enjoying himself...after all, he's going to be a "veeery wealthy man someday." "Nice to meet you Billy Butler" I say, as I excuse myself to slaughter the drunk boys in beer pong.

Scene Two: Billy Butler finds Mary Beth in the hallway waiting in line for the restroom

"So Billy, what do you do?" I inquire, with a slight lack of interest...praying that he doesn't read that on my face. Mind you, what do you say when someone comes up to you and doesn't really say anything?

Hey there creepity-creepster.

Do you like paintballs?
Because you're creeping me out so much that I kind of want to shoot you in the face with one right now.

Instead, I decide to ask myself, WWJD, go along with the conversation, answer some questions about myself and point out that I heard the toilet flush two minutes before it actually did. Billy Butler expresses that he's"really, really, really happy for me."

Scene Three: Billy Butler loves watching Mary Beth observe people as she sits on the couch

Billy slithers up by my side. I feel him give me the crazy eye as he murmurs, "What is your goal?"
Billy's goal is to travel the world and he reiterates how "very, very" happy he is for me that I'm getting to do so.

Scene Four: Billy Butler leaves quite the impression

As I'm walking out the door Billy follows thirteen paces behind, like any good Dallas man should."Billy Butler...remember that name."
"Ha, OK", I say, "again, it was very nice meeting you Billy."
Billy concludes with, "I feel like we're going to meet again."

I desperately pull my dear friend Kiley closer to the front porch...nearer to the car, but also nearer to the most attractive man in the village. I don't blame her when she strikes up a conversation with him. Meanwhile, I'm keeping my eyes out for Mr. Creepidy Creepster. I think I lost him.
Finally Kiley and I are headed for the car. I hear the leaves crunching like crazy...it's 'Butler'.

One of the most bizarre interactions in my life ends with an even more bizarre, "Tokyo. 2042. I won't have a beard then...and you're going to like it."

And ladies and gentleman, this is a true life story...

Men and Their Sweet Communication Skills...

I saw a man at church today that I haven't seen in while. We chatted it up for a good ten minutes or so. As we were about to part ways he pats my shoulder and says,
"You look healthy."

(silence)

I proceeded to kind of laugh...(kind of cry)...
"I mean...(silence)...you look really good."

Real interpretation of that statement would look something like:
"Girl, you sure look like you haven't been skipping any meals lately."

I just googled some thinspiration to paste on my refrigerator.
Looks like my cotton candy days are over. So sad.