Friday Fact: English Ice Cream has Two Nipples

Pancake Day Cont.

emma and her lemons

Mix it like a milkshake girl

Array of toppings

My first attempt at an American pancake...pants.

English pancake with lemon and sugar


Three Things I learned about Pancake Day:

1. If you ask an English person who Aunt Jemima is, ten out of ten wouldn't have the slightest clue.

2. All the maple syrup was apparently left in Canada because the only syrup I could find was golden...and it comes in a can. Weird.

3. When an English person starts putting cheese and mushrooms on an American pancake, just smile and let them be.

It's Pancake Day in England!

image http://www.telegraph.co.uk

What is Pancake Day?
To be honest, I have no flippin' idea.
I'll have the answer to that question tomorrow after my Pancake Day initiation at Emma's house.

Yes...I'm bringing American Pancakes.
Gotta represent.

My Very Favorite Word That English People Say...

How Not to Land an English Bloke

Dear Father Jesus,

Remember when I was five and gleeked a mouthful of chocolate milk onto Brendan D.’s face to let him know how much I liked him? Yeah…I was smooth. I really wish those games still worked out for me the way they did in kindergarten. Please help me blossom, baby Jesus, both in maturity…and maybe a lil’ up top as well...if it’s not too much trouble. Hallelujah. Thank You for the girls I DO have…small as they may be.

Amen.


So…

There’s this boy that I see around from time to time.
He’s tall, attractive, shy (?), and strong...very strong.
My eyes met his guns on a Thursday afternoon and by Friday morning,
he had earned himself the nickname: Jonny Big Guns
(please keep in mind, there has been zero interaction between myself and JBG)

Attempt #1: Drawing Strong, Attractive, English Boy a Picture

I decided to break Jonny Big Guns mystery man status by drawing him a picture.
After all, I have some serious drawing skills.

It was a portrait of JBG (+ six pack) posing gracefully with nunchucks and a Chinese star.
I wrote Jonny Big Guns up top.
On the paper, that is…not my chestal region.

He emailed me back and said that it looked like a blind kid with no arms drew it.

(insert stab in the heart here)


Attempt #2 Sending Hot, English Bloke a Valentine’s Day Song Card

English people are funny about Valentine’s Day.
i.e. You would never send a valentine to anyone other than a lover.

I totally got the creepy-old-man-look from the gentleman at the post office when he saw that I was sending ten valentines overseas.

JBG’s Valentine’s Day Card Description:
Silhouetted couple making out on the cover
Lengthy, emotional copy
"Stand By Me" starts to play when you open it.

My personal, heartfelt message:

Dear Jonny Big Guns,

I’m so grateful for all the quality time that we’ve spent together…just you and me.
Remember that conversation that we had one time when I said, “hey” and you said, “hey” back?
Quality. I feel like I can tell you anything.

Happy Valentine’s Day to the Strongest Man in the World.
Love, Mary Beth


No English lovin' in return.
Sad.
Ladies and Gentleman, my game has officially gone.
And…my roots are showing.

London Trend Report 2009

To clothe, or not to clothe, that is the question.
From sheer exposure to cloaked overkill, the streets of London were all about extremes this season.

Happy Valentine's Day!

The Best Job in the World

...now who wouldn't apply for a job with a title like that?

I'm sure you guys have all heard about the Island Reef Job by now. Surely.
Go apply...what a crazy amazing opportunity!

Yes. I just said crazy amazing.

Sort of like this man that I spotted at the rugby game on Saturday...phwoar.



For a larger version, click here...My Video Application




There's little me (second one in on the top row...)

Australia Day at Shipley Post Office

Everyone get your knob hats on and throw those bangers on the barbie.
It's bloody Australia Day at Shipley Post Office!

This is what I love about English people.
They have no fear when it comes to looking sexy in front of the camera.

And...she POPPED!

...her belly, that is. Not her collar.

My friend Estela had her baby girl on Tuesday.
Welcome to the world sweet baby Amelie!

25 Random Things About Me

1. In second grade I told a priest during confession that I robbed a bank...followed with a "juuust kidding".

2. I got grounded for buying chocolate ex-lax, scratching off the ex-lax imprint and feeding it to my brother Mark.

3. I ran the Chicago Marathon when I was 25...just because at 16, I promised myself that I'd run a marathon before I turned 26.

4. My all-time favorite thing is watching little baby sea turtles run into the ocean.

5. I landed a photography internship at a magazine (for college seniors only)...the creative director didn't realize that I was only a senior in high school.

6. I got called into detention for pulling down Richard Hynn's saggy pants during eighth grade play practice.

7. I eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches most days.

8. I've applied for Survivor and The Bachelor and received calls from casting directors both times...I'm great at filling out applications.

9. I've always felt like my job is a total dream job.

10. I prefer mittens to gloves.

11. I have a birthmark shaped like a turkey over my right hip.

12. I average five cups of coffee a day.

13. I went to an all-girls high school and went w/o shaving my legs for a month one time.

14. I once brought a budwiser to school for lunch...thinking it was a coke.

15. My siblings and I made a baby-sitter cry one time. That was the last we saw of her...

16. I was a victim of a drive-by paintball shooting.

17. Figurines and Clowns creep me out.

18...hmm...I was 18 when I had my first kiss. Late bloomer.

19. I offered to cook a homeless man dinner one time.

20. Laughing gas at the dentist's office is one of my favorite things.

21. I'm not a fan of cats but sometimes pretend to like them in the UK b/c everyone and their mother owns one.

22. I'm a huge flirt...but struggle when it comes to any sort of follow through.

23. In gradeschool, there was a man who served beans in the lunch line. He had a lisp...and would say, "Want sum beanths?" I would always get in his line and say, "pardon me?" just so I could hear him say it again.

24. Tequila makes me cry...but I love it.

25. I was a vegetarian for eight years.

Hello Winter Snow

photo taken by Hottie Rob

London Celebrity Sightings

I went to down to London this weekend to see the Annie Leibovitz Exhibition at the National Portrait Gallery.
While I was down there, I ran into quite a few famous people...