My Boys

(Pop, Dad, and my three bothers: Mike, Matt, and Mark (that’s little me on the far right)

When I opened my journal last week, this is what fell out.
I got all teary eyed and thought to myself…yep…these are my boys.
I’m one lucky girl.

Is it just me, or does anyone else get absurdly emotional at Christmas time?
Twenty three days to go until I fly home for Christmas!

'taches' for Cash

For nearly a month, a group of chaps in Tigerprint and Hallmark UK have been taking part in Movember, a moustache-growing event to raise funds for men's health charities such as prostate cancer.

Bless them.
This can't help them out any in the ladies department.
Believe it or not, there are actually some cute boys under there...

You can check out their group and even donate online if you like at:
http://uk.movember.com/mospace/98207

Happy Thanksgiving!

This is the birthmark on my right hip. It's shaped like a turkey. Don't be jealous.

Happy Thanksgiving America!

...and a special poem for the family

Mike, Marlene, Mike, Michelle, chillin's due, Matt, Cristina, Pinto, Mark, Monica, Glen, and future stinky Fink
I wish you all the kind of Thanksgiving, where there's ample food, merriment, and drink.

I was walking this morning...in my winter hat, boots and mitts
thinking, damn, I'm gonna miss out on casserole, stuffing, and all those oh-so-tasty bits.

It was grey, wet, and cold...the type of day where you can't even feel your toes
trudging through miserable Shipley, with the gutter snipes and cracked out ho's.

I wish I was there with you guys...having a truly wonderful family affair
instead of brooding alone...feeling all tender and bare.

So eat heartily...whilst thinking of poor little old me
sat here by my lonesome, having to settle for a sad, measly, crap English tea.

Thanksgiving…English-style

This past Saturday, Kate (a local Texas chick), invited myself and five others over for a proper Thanksgiving meal. The festivities started at 2:30pm and ended well after 10pm. One word: delicious!
Looks like Marlene’s got some competition...

The Spread

Mel & Aiden

Chick from New York & Richard

Paul, her hubby. Yes...those are handlebars you are seeing...(guys do that here to raise money for charity)

Kate, the lovely chef

Pâté, cheese, etc.

Deviled eggs!

Kia, Kate & Paul's awesome dog

Me Against the Weather

image by David J. Nightingale

I know, I’m American…and I’m not entitled to moan about the crap weather in England (I read that somewhere), but I’m going to go ahead and say that it sucks a monkey…and it makes people cheerless (mostly me…and everyone else at Shipley’s ASDA on a Sunday). A sulky man in the frozen food section asked me what kind of potatoes he should buy. He wanted to fry them, but all of the packaging said ‘oven fry’. I told him that he could probably stick them in the fry daddy anyway. He mumbled something under his breath, rolled his eyes, and then walked off. I wanted to throw cake at him, but I didn’t have any.

It's School Day at Hallmark UK

It's all about raising money for charity...

The Results Are In…

If you’ve ever wondered what goes down at a speed dating event, please, let me inform you.

* When you arrive, you are given a scorecard, a nametag and a pen.
I stole the pen...only because I figured it was my best chance of coming out of there with something.
* The dating begins.
* The women stay seated and the men rotate every three minutes when the whistle blows.
* After each date, participants mark 'yes' or 'no' on a scorecard.
* At the end of the evening, the top-sheets of all scorecards are collected.
* You are informed, by email, within 2-3 days whether you have any matches or not.


11 guys, 11 girls, 11 conversations later…

& I have a match!
(I don’t think I really meant to insert an exclam. there, but whatever.)

Meaning, we both checked ‘yes’ after those three minutes of ecstasy.

Matt is his name, hearts are his game…
He’s a cardiologist...bad joke, I know.

“In addition to this, 8 other men were interested in meeting you - if you would like to know who they were, please contact us.” Thanks, but no thanks.

I got an email from Matchy Matt last night. It went like so...

Hey Mary Beth,

Hope you enjoyed speed-dating last week...(I suspect I
won't be returning for any more of their events!!) Anyway
it was good to meet you and it seems we have both been
'matched'!! Given that the company calls itself 'ELITE
SPEED-DATING', I think it would be a crime not to meet up
for at least one drink that lasts longer than 3
minutes!!...I'm in Orlando at the moment lapping up the
sunshine then fly to NYC to chill out for a bit...I get
back towards the end of next week...would love to take you
out for drinks if you fancy...(I'm sure I can find
somewhere in Leeds you haven't been to before so should be
fun)...let me know..

Matt x

I figure one date in a year and a half couldn't hurt...

Speed Dating...And The Men That Go

Back in high school, I spent my summer’s waitressing at Tia’s, a Tex-Mex Restaurant close to my parent’s house. (insert shout out to Amanda O. here) The only awesome thing about this job was the giant, Mexican mural that I painted on the tortilla stand. It included the managers in sombrero hats gazing at the sun and Maria, the tortilla lady, riding a two-legged horse.

My dad would always tell me that waiting tables would teach me how to handle all types of people.
Thank you speed dating, for re-educating me.

And…here are my notes from last night:
(please note: I actually had to turn these in)

::Alisdair:: plumber, black tie, suit, OMG…awkward

::Dan:: hippie traveler, funny curly hair, I’ll have whatever it is that he’s smoking

::Brad:: It’s always a good sign when a guy chooses to go to the toilet before coming up to you. Sad. This is a real, live quote from Brad, “24 is starting. I want to wank just thinking about it.” Wow. Please don’t try to shake my hand. Mike and Marlene would die if I brought a guy like this home.

::Simon:: I think I have his shirt. Nervous…bless him.

::Mark:: Jeweler with sparkly shirt. Is that really sequins you have on there? Chose to put his nametag on the inside of his coat jacket. I like a rule breaker. First…the sequins, then…the nametag. Awesome.

::John:: Orthopedist. Holy crap that was intense…and not in a good way. I bet he breaks peoples bones on purpose.

::Andrew:: Lawyer from Doncasta’, sweet, warm demeanor

::Chris:: crap…I don’t know who this is.

::Robert:: Those are the largest pinstripes I’ve ever seen in my life. Do we play for the same team? Mmm…I think yeah. Flaming.

::Matt:: Cardiologist, super cute, is he tall?...negative…but I’d totally make out with him in flats sitting down.

::Dave:: Sweet, probably my dad’s age, but sweet.

Speed Dating Questions...

photo by Leo Reynold's

It's amazing to me how long a measly three minutes can seem...

Ladies and Gentlemen, if you ever find yourself...speed dating...be sure to go with a prepared list of questions. This bad boy came in handy with the socially inept.

Awkward is only funny for about thirty seconds.
After that, you just have to turn it up a notch. It makes it all the more funny.

1. Do girls think you’re sexy...I mean generally?
2. Do you collect anything?
3. Do you think Americans are stupid?
4. Do you like skinny chicks?
5. Have you ever checked out another guy at the gym?
6. Do you have a criminal record?
7. Have you ever had lemon juice squirted in your eye? Because that would suck.
8. You don’t know me, but if you had to make up a nickname for me, what would it be?
9. Do you own a hankercheif? Good…because they’re disgusting.
10. Have you ever worn eyeliner?

Alpa & Ajay's Engagement Ceremony Part:2

Alpa & Ajay's Engagement Ceremony Part:1

I was so honored when my friend, Alpa, asked me to photograph her engagement ceremony.
This was my very first time attending an event like this, and let me just say...wow.
The outfits were out-of-control gorgeous, the colors...fantastic, and the food...amazing. (Indian food is my new temporary fix for Mexican..minus the cheese)

Was That a Dream...or Did That Really Just Happen?

No, that was for reals.

Charles Dickens just walked by...and it's not even Halloween.
I love that I live in a country where stuff like this is normal.

Have an awesome weekend ya'll!

Simon's Response...

Ems, hi hi, just got out of my lava bath..., now where did I put my buffalo antiperspirant...
Brilliant! Not sure when I'm next your way, but I certainly should aim to come and see your place and bring my wellies. What's Mary Beth's phone number? I'll call her to at least commend her for her poetic efforts!...SB XX

Hello. My Name is Mary Beth…

And…I’m about to break my own rules.

You see, whenever people tell me that I should give online dating a try, I always give them the same answer: “I’m just not looking for that special guy in my life right now.”
I’m floating. I’m a floater…and it’s kinda nice up here.

After some serious hesitation, I’ve decided that whilst in England, you’ve got to do as the English do…drink
and have three minute, awkward conversations with members of the opposite sex.
I imagine this is every Englishman’s dream...you don’t even have to make bloody eye contact. And if you’re super uncomfortable, suck it up, the beer is just around the corner. (p.s. I’m taking the words bloody (and nobhead) back to the states with me).

You’re reading this right…next week, I’m going speed dating…English-style.
It's all about the stories people.

Night O' Fright

In England, Halloween is 82% more scary than it is in the US. (I like making up these percentages...)
Everyone wears scary costumes. Like, nightmare inflicting scary.
I always try to be something that makes people feel good. Last year, I was Jesus...
this year, I decided to go as a Giant Cheeto. Man, I love Cheetos.

Murray & Emma

Matt

Kendra & Angie

Holy crap Angie

Please don't eat me scary people!

Red-Eyed Kendra